You're The Alpha Omega

myktorres:

God’s not up in heaven hiding His will, hoping you’ll never be able to find it. But He does play hide and seek. He doesn’t just want us to find His will, He wants us to find Him in the process. Because if His will was in plain view, we would seek it instead of seeking Him.

That’s why he conceals it. That’s why it’s so hard.

The point isn’t for God to make His will plain. His will isn’t the main objective. He is the main objective. He wants you to discover Him above all else.

As you run after God and his good, pleasing, and perfect will, remember these two truths:

God isn’t the shortcut to your best life. He is your best life.
God doesn’t want to give you the guide for your life. He wants to be your Guide.

The scariest possibility for your life isn’t getting God’s will wrong. It’s getting God’s will right but barely coming to know God in the process.

Steven Furtick

unkaglen:

followandreblog asked: There’s this pastor / church I really like listening to, but I think a lot of other pastors are saying he’s a false prophet (twisting the Bible, not using Biblical Truth, preaching about himself rather than Jesus, etc.) but I do enjoy listening to his messages and feel blessed by them. Is there a way of choosing “the right Church for you” apart from feeling God’s presence, power, and love though their messages? Well, is there such thing as a right / wrong Church?

Unka Glen answered: This is one of those tricky situations. On one extreme, a person could easily begin to be more and more picky about smaller and smaller points of doctrine, and end up rejecting nearly everything they hear. But on the other extreme, you could end up taking on some point of bad doctrine, and really damage the health of your relationship with God.

No wonder 1 Timothy 4:16 says, “watch your life and doctrine closely.”

Paul preached the Gospel in a place called Berea, and they did an odd thing, they went and examined the Old Testament scrolls to confirm that the things Paul was preaching actually lined up with Old Testament prophecy. They didn’t just take Paul’s word for it. 

The Bible doesn’t criticize them for having this sceptisicm, it says that the Bereans were “of noble character”. Which is a pretty cool thing to say about anyone. The Bible also says, about the Bereans, that “as a result, many of the Jews believed, as did also a number of prominent Greek women and many Greek men” (Acts 17). 

This process of going to God and getting wisdom to see right from wrong, good from bad, and healthy from unhealthy is what we call discernment. And we are called to be discerning. Some people avoid using good discernment because it sounds like being judgmental. However, being judgmental is about condemning people that you’ve decided on your own to be worthy of condemnation (Romans 14:4).

So what we’re left with, is that it’s good to be wise and discerning about what we listen to, as long as we keep in mind that this insight isn’t for condemning others, it’s for knowing the truth and being set free by the truth. So far so good. But how do you know whether you’re hearing bad doctrine or good? How do you determine what church is the right fit for you?

— Know good doctrine. The best way to recognize bad doctrine is to learn good doctrine, and the best way to learn good doctrine is to get into scripture, and stay in it. Find ways of studying it on your own. Test and verify everything you read (even this blog). Jesus said His sheep recognize His voice, and because of that, they don’t follow strangers.

— Avoid manipulation. The moment someone uses manipulation, it’s time to change the channel. Period. Anyone who passes by the power of the Word itself to play to your emotions is, at best, clueless in what they’re doing. And at worst, they’re trying to get something out of you. Watch out for emotional manipulations involving fear, shame, and guilt; also manipulations that involve physical rewards such as healing, power, or money. 

— Know what you need. Some people really need a lively word preached in a lively way. Some need something deep, something sweet, and something gently restorative. Others might need something more teaching-oriented. You name it. In most cases, when we hear what we need to hear, the way we need to hear it, we’re attracted to it. So don’t be afraid to follow your sense of taste. Just make sure the doctrine is solid.

— Don’t take the bad with the good. You ever hear that expression, “eat the meat and spit out the bones”? The idea being, if somebody preaches something good, accept it, if they preach something wrong, ignore it. Problem #1: this assumes that you know the meat from the bones. Problem #2: there are plenty of churches and pastors that preach good doctrine, so why not go where there’s no spitting required? Problem #3: this pick-and-choose approach is not really advocated in scripture.

— Get challenged and equipped. Wherever you go to receive the Word, you should be challenged and encouraged to pursue your personal calling, and you should be equipped (in the basics) to pursue that calling as well. Most churches are pretty good at either challenging or equipping, but you need both to get where you’re going.

Here’s the bottom line: God expects you to monitor your spiritual health, and make sure that you have your spiritual needs met. Please believe me, God has big plans for your life, so you need good spiritual nourishment… don’t settle for junk food, no matter how good it tastes.

unkaglen:

Let’s face it, dating is a modern cultural phenomenon. The Bible doesn’t say anything about it, because dating as we know it today didn’t exist back then. So can we still apply the Bible to the modern cultural phenomenon of dating? You bet. But it won’t work to try and rewrite the rules of dating to make it more righteous, and that’s not how mature Christians handle things anyway.

We don’t need the right rules for Christian dating, we need the right goals for Christian dating.

Here’s how we do it— we start with a healthy, loving, functional Christian marriage (which the Bible says a lot about), and then work our way backwards. That is to say, if we know where we want to land, then we design dating to be the thing that takes us directly from here to there. Simple.

So let’s look at the elements of a healthy Christian marriage:

Teamwork and companionship. First and foremost, you’re forming a team that can serve the Lord better together, than you could serve Him separately. This means that every member does his or her part, it means we need to be able to trust one another. Nobody comes into this picture the eternally weak victim, and the other the eternal giver of attention and sympathy.

This is a team. We watch each other’s backs, we take up the slack when the other one is hurting. We divide the load and carry it together. So why not start developing this teamwork element in the dating process? Secular dating is often about two very independent people coming together, but Christian marriage is about forming a unit that works together to bring glory to the Lord.

Mutual encouragement in your walk. Not everyone can be a strong encouragement to us in our walk. It takes some character and some spiritual maturity to really be able to spiritually uplift that other person in a meaningful way. We need to get to know this other person, to know all their faults, as well as their strengths. 

That would tell me that dating should be about (eventually) letting down our guard, and being vulnerable about our struggles and weaknesses. We should strive to find a way to begin to actually minister to each other in simple little ways. To find ways of not just encouraging the other person, but to really hit the nail on the head when encouraging them. And to be able to do the same with all aspects of this person’s walk.

Strong boundaries. All relationships need healthy boundaries. And marriage should have the strongest of them all. There is a wide range of ugly behavior that you should consider unthinkable within your married life. Dating should be a sort of training ground for all that. 

Where do we draw these boundaries? Do we listen to our hormones? Do we get super-strict? Or do we go really crazy and pray about it? What happens when we violate those boundaries? Who was supposed to be keeping watch on those boundaries? Dating should be about learning to answer all these questions.

Understanding and sympathy. I don’t know why this is, but I can put up with a whole lot of troubles in life, if I have a little sympathy and understanding. My urban ministry job (which I love more than the air I breathe) is stressful like you can’t imagine, and one day it was really getting to me, so I said to my wife, “I’m stressed, do something!” Without a word, she lifted her shirt and flashed me.

Now THAT is ministry. 

Well, of course I’m not suggesting that you flash the person you’re dating, but I am saying that because my wife had understanding and sympathy for my situation, she knew exactly what to do. Dating should be about listening and trying to see the other person’s side of things. As 1 Cor. 13 says, “love is not self seeking”.

Healthy sex life. (Speaking of flashing) Anyway, every Christian couple’s counselor asks the same question, when they sit down with a couple for the first time: “how often are you two having sex?” They do, I promise. That intimacy and connection and release of tension is really important. 

So when you’re dating, it’s about praying through where those physical boundaries are, and keeping them. But it’s also about enjoying the stuff that God says is okay, and it’s about entering marriage, and your sex life, without any guilt or shame, because you’ve worked all that out before you got married. 

…When you look at all this, you can see that there’s a lot to get done in your dating life. So you really shouldn’t get started with that unless you’re ready to put in the effort, and you feel like this person could be the right fit for all of the above. And you break off a dating relationship when the relationship veers from these goals, and you can’t seem to get it back on track.

It’s about the goals, not the rules.

unkaglen:

There’s lots of really weird advice about dating available to the young Christian today. Head to your local Christian bookstore, and you’ll find bookshelves full of it. Nowadays, it seems like it’s getting to the point where the advice boils down to: wear a full body condom, lock yourself in a closet, and try to have no thoughts or feelings about the opposite sex. That’s not Christian dating advice, that’s advice about NOT dating.

But many of you know how to read through all that. Yes, it’s a good idea to cool it on the more intense physical stuff, at least until you’re much further down the road in the relationship. Yes, it makes sense to be serious and intentional about relationships. And certainly knowing where the Godly boundaries are is essential. But all that doesn’t add up to what you see on the bookshelves, does it? 

So where do we start with the more sensible Christian dating advice? Well, let’s begin with this question from one of my favorite tumblrerrs. 

followandreblog asks: Can girls EVER make the first move on anything? And to what extent? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure some men are really shy (!) and I wonder how it’ll go, if a girl wants to get to know a guy better. Or should she just pray and ask God for the man to make a move, if it’s part of His will? -.-

It’s important to take the whole dating thing seriously, after all, people’s feelings are involved here, but there has to be a way for two Christians to get together and get to know each other, in a way that’s not overly charged with meaning. Sure a gal can come off the wrong way if she approaches a guy in a overtly forward way, but surely a Christian gal can send a message: you seem like the kind of guy I’d like to get to know better.

Here’s another recent question.

Anonymous asks: This guy and I started talking & he’s a great Christian guy and we have a lot in common which is great. He’s very shy and quiet, but he asked for my number, and we’ve been texting a little here and there. I’m not getting my hopes up with him, because I’m just scared that I’ll be let down. But…I guess what I’m asking is…how would you approach this? 

Again, we’re talking about shy guys, but I’m wondering if it’s shyness, or just a matter of, well, where do you start? Now, for the record, gents, just tell that cute girl that you’d like to take her out to a nice dinner, then bring her some flowers, and ask questions, and LISTEN, and then take her home, and tell her you had an awesome time, and that you’d like to do it again, and that she makes you feel all woozy inside because she’s so dang pretty. 

Then head back to your car at a slow trot before you screw anything up.

Simple. Man up, and make your move. Getting shot down is part of life. You don’t deserve that awesome Christian gal if you don’t step up, and believe me, while you’re trying to find just the right way to do it, someone else will beat you to it. Just be yourself, and take your shot.

But for these two ladies, what are we to say? You can’t just sit home by the phone and send thought waves at him. Trust me, we barely pick up open declarations of affection, subtle hints and gestures are lost on us. You could do what women did in my day, (the early Renaissance era), where a gal’s best friend would poke your arm and tell you that you better ask out her friend, because she likes you, and you aren’t going to do any better, and who do you think you are anyway?

These crude but effective methods did lead to men finding their courage (and in my case, often apologizing without really knowing what for). And for sure, many a bold man found his boldness because the woman in his life knew how to call it forth in him. But that only works if you have some feminine boldness within yourself, and you’re not a big ol’ chicken. 

But forget all that, let’s just get back to the essential question: what’s a good, harmless starting point? Well, getting to know each other is the most important first step, so maybe we put some structure to it, maybe give you a list, and that way it kind of gets you over the awkward part. Then all that’s left, is to simply tell that guy or that gal, hey, let’s get a cup of coffee and look at this list I found. 

Here’s a sample list, but add or subtract your own questions about things that would be important to you.

1. Tell me your testimony
2. Tell me about a major turning point in your walk with the Lord
3. What person in your life has been the biggest influence on your walk?
4. What’s your favorite band/singer?
5. Glittery vampire movies, love them or hate them?
6. Are you a cat person or dog person?
7. Are you into sports?
8. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
9. What do you think your calling might be?
10. Do you want to have kids, if so, how many?
11. What’s your favorite food?
12. What was the happiest moment of your life?
13. What was your most embarrassing moment?
14. Do you see yourself as shy or bold?
15. Would you describe yourself as confident or insecure?
16. What sort of gifts do you feel like God has given you?
17. What, to you, would be a really romantic gesture?
18. Describe your idea of a perfect date
19. FOR THE GUY: How do you know decide when to ask a girl out?
20. FOR THR GAL: How do you let a guy know that you’d say yes if he asked you out?

[the correct answer to that last question is: share a cup of coffee with him and have him answer these questions with me!]

unkaglen:

One of the toughest things we deal with in our Christian faith is when our Christian friends, the people we fellowship with, end up taking a major left turn in their lifestyle. Here’s an example sent in recently:

I have a friend that has been one of my closest for years and we’re into a lot of the same things. But recently, she’s been changing. Popularity and “fun” are her biggest concerns. She started drinking and experimenting with drugs and has gotten way too physical with a few guys. I’m not saying I’m perfect, but this totally isn’t her. Also, her attitude has changed. She’s defensive and self centered most of the time. How do I love her through this when I don’t even enjoy being around her anymore?

Here’s another similar story:

My best friend and I are both juniors in high school. She runs to boys for comfort, and now it’s gone too far. She told me how she had sex with this guy, and she’s not ashamed. I don’t know how to be a friend to her right now. She doesn’t respond well to confrontation, and I would hate to betray her trust and tell a mentor or something. What’s the right thing to do? How can she love the Lord and do this? How can I be a Godly friend to her when I kinda feel like she betrayed me?

On one hand you feel like you set out to walk a difficult path, and you did the smart thing and gathered good believers around you, but when one of those traveling companions leaves the path, it seems all that tougher to walk. Thus, we feel WE are the victim of this behavior.

The truth of course is that our friends don’t owe it to us to live their lives any certain way, and for that matter, it’s pretty tough to witness to someone effectively when we’re feeling resentful of them. Some of the pushback and defensiveness you experience might be a reaction to YOUR feelings of betrayal, and maybe a bit of anger you may be feeling.

The bad news is, the further you go in your walk, the fewer companions you’ll have. The good news is, those companions will be more and more amazing.

But as amazing as any of these companions will be, we have to remember to “run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on JESUS… so that you will not grow weary and lose heart” (Heb. 12). The more we grow, the more we learn to rely on God himself.